As adults we wake up in the night, maybe not completely but enough to look at the clock, turn over and go back to sleep. It helps that we know how to do this and we aren't dependent on other means to help us fall to sleep.
When our babies are new to this big world they depend on us to rock them or maybe nurse them to sleep. But as they get to be about 5 or 6 months we need to start teaching them how they can fall to sleep on their own and not be dependent on other means.
Baby Bed In Bed
You can start applying these strategies when they are younger but I started when my kids were between 5 & 6 months old. Anything before 4 months I think would be too young because their feedings are more frequent, their body needs the nourishment and as we know, babies sleep better when their little tummies are full.
I have come to realize that 6 full hours of sleep is not the same as 6 hours of sleep broken up by 3 feedings. So in order to get my 'wee-one' to be able to let mommy and daddy sleep, we had to figure out a way to get her to learn how to fall asleep on her own.
Settle down and fall to sleep by herself
I love to make her giggle and we have so much fun tickling feet, but before we prepare for bed time we need to slow down a bit and settle down. We created a nighttime ritual we did every night so our little girl began to know that it was almost time for bed. First we would either take a bath or clean up with a warm cloth. Next, we would get in some nice warm pajamas. Then we would lie on the floor, touch each other's face and hands, read a book or sing some lullabies. Lastly, probably the most important step is to put her in bed while she is still awake. Let her know it's time for bed, give her a big kiss and say good night. She may cry a little bit and you will want to go back in and comfort her but you have to stay out of her room and let her cry. If she continues to cry, you can check on her after about 5 minutes to make sure she isn't stuck, hanging out of the crib or hurt but try not to make eye contact. Tell her you love her and it's now time for bed and leave the room. If she continues to cry, check on her again after 10 minutes, but don't make eye contact and do not stay in the room to comfort her. Peek in, and slide out. If you can do this without her seeing you, that would be best. In our case, our daughter was able to go to bed without crying after about 3 days using this technique. Each day the crying decreased a little bit and she began to know that when she was put in bed, it was time for sleep.
Waking in the night
We have now taken the first step to getting out little wee-ones to fall asleep by themselves. As painful as it was to listen to them cry and not offer any help, this was the foundation for getting them to sleep through the night. If she is waking up 3 times a night, we need to reduce it to two times a night or even once a night. The process is the same as what we have done above. The first time she wakes up and cries to be nursed or have a bottle, you can go in and rub her back or her tummy and tell her it's time to go to sleep and leave the room. Again it is important to not make eye contact. If she continues to cry, wait 5 minutes and make sure she is ok. Try to avoid eye contact and do not stay in the room. If she continues to cry, wait 10 minutes and peek in to make sure she is alright. After a few nights of this process, start to increase the time before the first check in. She will soon realize she is not going to be nursed back to sleep and will doze off all on her own.
Once we were able to cut down to two feedings we then focused on doing only one feeding. Soon she was sleeping through the night. It seemed this actually came naturally because when she would wake for a feeding, she sometimes just went back to sleep all by herself.
A short list of Don'ts
When entering the room when your baby is crying, do not make eye contact or stay in the room. Most of all don't pick her up and try to comfort her. If you do, you will prolong the whole process of trying to get her to fall to sleep by herself. In a way it's kind of like gambling. We like to gamble because there is that chance we will win. If sometimes you pick her up and sometimes you don't, she will always think there is that chance she will be picked up. If she gets picked up, she might get some milk. She is smart, she will continue to cry and gamble until she wins. You need to send the message that it is bed time and this is when we sleep.
Stay strong, you are the parent and you are the boss. After all you are bigger than your baby. You are now on your way to having your baby sleep through the night.
I am not a doctor and this process was compiled from talking with other parents and trial and error I have done with my kids. I recommend that before trying anything you consult your pediatrician for advice.
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Dec 07, 2011 15:07:16
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